Today I Get Married . . . Again.

I thought of the title for this post back when I started this blog. I don't think that I really thought much about what would be in this post, simply that this would be a catchy title. There was a thought that I could talk about my journey from divorce to marriage. I figured I could talk about how things are different. I have come to realize that this is really about how what I see as a failure God has used for good. How my plan is never as good as God's plan for me.

Unforgiven

I'm sorry, this blog is not about Metallica or Clint Eastwood. If you came here expecting me to talk about those you might be disappointed. I'm not saying I won't, just that this probably isn't what you think. But enough disclaimer. On to the intro.

There is a passage in the Gospel of Matthew which we often look over. (If I am honest there are quite a few!) It comes right after the Lord's Prayer, right in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount. In this passage Jesus tells us that if we do not forgive others God will not forgive us. Yes you heard me right. Most people when they hear this ask one simple question. Does this mean that you can lose your salvation? That is indeed a good question.

When Cold Winds Blow

Over a month ago I talked about Scars. I said that we all carry the wounds of past hurts with us. I mentioned that we have a choice. We can let these scars continue to hurt us. We can focus on the bad that happened and in turn become bitter evil people. Or we can choose to see them as something that God has used to make us better. 

I ended with an analogy of cold winds and talked about how there are times in our life when things happen that inflame these old wounds. Last weekend was one of these for me. I learned that God is with us even through these. I learned that God gives us people to help us through these times.

Scars

So there is this passage in Genesis that struck me the other day. It is after Jacob wrestles with God. Jacob names the place Peniel. This is Hebrew and it means face of God. But what struck me was what Jacob said. He said that he had seen God face to face and had been preserved.

Preserved? Really?

In case you didn't know, God gave Jacob a limp. Seems interesting to think that preservation meant a limp. Some might say God cheated since he couldn't beat Jacob. But frankly I think that is a bad interpretation. I think this was God's way of reminding Jacob that God was always with him. Jacob's scar became something to treasure and not to disdain.

4 Things Biblical Marriage is Not

Marriage is a hot topic these days. My whole reason for creating this blog involved the concept of marriage and what was biblical. In that first post I hinted at the fact Christians who think it only takes one thing for marriage to be biblical are wrong. Yet I did not really go into much detail.

A few weeks later I followed up with 5 Things I Learned About Marriage During My Divorce. This has become my most visited blog. I mention it because I am going to reference it many times in what follows. If you haven't read that I suggest you do so now and then come back. Don't worry I'll still be here. 

What follows is a list that I cam up with while preparing to preach on Genesis 2:24. It will include concepts that I have said before. But these are things that I know need to be said. So without further adieu:

His Covenant Faithfulness Knows No End

Today I was going to write about the faithfulness of God, but I read through Psalm 136 and couldn't help but write my own.

5 Things I Learned About Marriage During My Divorce

So recently some friends in my church got married. As part of the reception the church was asked to write down some words of wisdom and give them to the couple. As I began to think about what I could share I realized that the things I wanted to tell them were things that I wished I had known before I got married.

Why We Need Community

 _____________________________________________________________________________

It occurs to me that today is September 11. Though not directly related I realize that when I talk about the need for community one of the best examples was the numerous men and women who devoted time, energy and their lives in the wake of this horrific tragedy.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Lately God has been talking to me about community. Why he designed us to live in community. What it means to live that out. Why we think we can be Christian by ourselves. How the community of God has blessed me.

I was pondering these things this morning as I sat down and watched a sermon by Alistair Begg. I noticed that the title was Membership Matters. Funny how God often orchestrates things just when we need them. If you want to have a look at the sermon you can view it here. One of his main points was that we often think we don't need the community. This started me to thinking about reasons why that might be.

Before I go any further a little sociology lesson.

When I was in undergrad I took a sociology class. One of the things we talked about in that class was the difference between the individual in Eastern and Western culture. Essentially in Western culture we talk about how everyone is unique and you are your own person. We have individual liberties, individual opinions, and individual beliefs. Eastern culture is much different. For many of those cultures the group is the most important unit. Your beliefs and opinions are not just yours.

My professor gave us this example from sociological studies. She mentioned that a class of kindergartners was used. This was a class with many first generation Americans whose parents came from Asian countries. It was the ideal class for such an experiment. Students were given a coloring page and told to choose whatever color they wanted to color with. Those students whose parents had grown up in the United States quickly took their favorite color and started. The students who parents were from Asia were unsure what to do. They could not decide what color to use.

Next the researchers told the students that their parents wanted them to color with a red crayon. At this the students who parents were from Asia perked up and began to gladly color with red. Some of the other students who had gladly colored with the color of their choice before got upset. Why should they have to color the way their parents wanted? It was their coloring page. They should be able to do what they wanted.

This is the difference between Eastern and Western culture. Here we are told to be your own person that what you do is important and no one can tell you what to believe. We live in a culture that tells us that we don't need anyone else. That we can do anything we put our minds to. This may be true of many things. 

But this is not God's design for the church.

In scripture we find the church described as a flock, a house, a body, and even a family. None of these things can operate on their own. They are all made up of various parts. As Begg puts it:

"One Sheep doesn't make a flock. One brick doesn't make a house. One limb doesn't make a body. One individual doesn't make a family."

The point is that God never designed us to be alone we were always meant to live in a community. But the question becomes why? What is it about humanity that makes us need and desire community?

The fact of the matter is that people cannot live the life God has called us to alone. We are broken people. We stumble we fall. In seclusion we can never become what we are called to be. We need other people to encourage us, to walk with us, to grieve with us, and yes even to rebuke us when we are wrong. This is the point of community. This is what the church is supposed to be to itself. A place for people to be people and place for people to grow, to rejoice, and to grieve. (If you don't believe me check out what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12)

So why is this important to me?

As I said in this post. I am divorced. That process was not an easy or clean one for me. It was painful and it was messy. Yet I was fortunate enough to be a member at a church that came along side me and grieved with me. They sat in ashes and wept with me. They prayed for and with me. The community of God was my faith when I had none. This community enabled me to grieve, to heal, to lean into God and to learn. 

That is what the church is for. But more than that the church is a place for us to be held accountable. Take a look at the things Paul says in his letters. They are not always encouragement. Paul understands that sometimes we need someone to come alongside us and rebuke us. We are not perfect. We need people to call us on what we do.

But the best part about the church is its diversity.

Take a look at Revelation. We see that all nations will come before God and proclaim His goodness and glory. Even Solomon understood that the temple was not just for Israel but for all nations. The blessing given to Abraham was so that he could be a blessing to the whole world. 

Now I'm getting a little ahead of myself. That really should be saved for tomorrow. But the point is that the church is to be a place where people come and learn from each other. Where we see the wonders of God's creation in all its diversity. The church is diverse because God's creation is diverse. 

This is my hope for us.

I hope that we can realize the need for the local church. That it can be a place where we come and are renewed. Where we are encouraged. Where we are blessed. Where we help each other. A place where we are rebuked in love. A place where we learn from each other. The church needs to be a community of God. It is not just a social club. It is a new way of life. It is something so different from the rest of the world that people look and wonder what it is all about. The church needs to be the community of God. In the words of Paul:

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Amen!