I, like most men, spend much of my time trying to figure out the best way to love my soon-to-be bride. I, like most men, find that I often fail. But I, like most men, persevere because one of my deepest joys is to see her well loved. However, I fear that this perseverance is not the same for us when we think about loving the church.
Why the Bride?
When I think about loving the bride the first thing that hits me is a question about why the church is called the bride of Christ. Perhaps this is because I have a Y chromosome and I find it weird to think of myself as the bride. What I do know is that the symbolism of this is amazing.
A traditional Jewish wedding at the time of Jesus was much different then what we think of in the west today. Perhaps the greatest difference was that there was an expectation on the groom during the engagement. After the groom proposed he went to prepare a house. It was the grooms job to make sure that there was a place for him and his new bride. Brings new meaning to the words of Jesus when He said He was going to prepare a place for us.
During this time the bride was to make herself ready. The bride was to clothe herself in white and await the return of her groom. She and all those who went with her were to be ready at a moments notice. They may not have known when the groom was coming back to get her and take her to the place that he had prepared. This was the time of the wedding ceremony.
We see the symbolism of this in Revelation 19. The bride (that's the church) has made herself ready. She is clothed in white. Her groom (that's Jesus) comes ridding in on a white horse. Yes, that's right, just like all the romance novels. Jesus comes and defeats all evil and sets all things right. He comes and He takes the church to be with Him forever.
She has made herself ready.
I want to highlight what the church is to be doing while Jesus is away. We are to be making ourselves ready. This does not just mean being aware that we are going to be with Jesus soon. It also means making ourselves able to be clothed in white. Is that something you can say of your church? Could you say that your church is blameless?
Look I am not saying that unless we are perfect Jesus won't return. We aren't. But what I am saying is that we need to realize that we are called to live that way. Yes we will stumble. Yes we will fall. But we need to strive to live a life like Christ. We need to remember that Jesus called us to be lights in the darkness and salt for the food. If we stop being these things then we stop being the church. We fail at making ourselves ready.
Love the Church. Period.
Now we get to the part that none of us want to hear. The church is the bride of Christ and we are called to love her. No matter what. Even when she is spiteful. Even when she hurts us. Even when she only seeks to destroy.
Jesus loves His bride. He died for her. He paid the ultimate price to gain her. Jesus knows that His bride is not perfect. He knows that she can sometimes say or do the wrong thing. But He also sees the good in her. He see her like a groom sees his bride. Beautiful.
I know some of you have problems with the church. It might be THE CHURCH or it might just be your local congregation. I know that these problems seem to insurmountable to overcome. But here is a secret. We all have problems with the church. We have problems because the church is not perfect. We have problems because we are not perfect. Honestly I am glad the church is not perfect. If it was I would be afraid that I was going to mess it up.
If we don't love the church then we really don't love Jesus. You can't love the groom and hate the bride.
If you have stopped attending your local church because someone has hurt you. Go back. If you constantly switch congregations because they just don't understand you. Stop. Think. And realize that maybe you are the problem and not those congregations.
Look, the simple truth is if we don't love the church then we really don't love Jesus. You can't love the groom and hate the bride. If you truly love the groom then you will learn to love the bride. Anything short of that is lying to yourself.
Now I know what you are going to say. "Phil, didn't you just write a post about how satire is okay in the church? Doesn't that mean that you don't love the church? After all if you loved the church you wouldn't have any problems with it." If you think this then you really don't understand how love works.
Jesus loves the church. This means that He loves the people of God. Those people were the Jews for a very long time. Yet when we look at the gospels we see Jesus ridiculing the religious leaders over and over again. (I have written more on this here and here.) Jesus did this because He loved them. Let me explain.
The Story (Yes, mom, that one)
When I was 5 years old I did a bad thing. I lied to my parents. Sounds simple right? Not really. See I told my mother that I was going to hang out at a neighbors house. He told his mom that he was at my house. Then both of us walked two miles to the Seven Eleven. We were going to play space invaders. There were just a couple of problems,
First, the street that we walked down was a divided four lane road. It happened to be a major through way in the part of Colorado that I was in at the time. This meant that to get to the Seven Eleven we had to cross four lanes of traffic. That didn't seem to be too much of a problem getting there. But that wasn't the only problem.
Second, when we got there we realized that we had forgotten to bring quarters. This meant that we had to walk all the way back to our houses so that we could get money to play the game. Now here is the issue. I FREAKED OUT on the way back. I remember standing in the median of the road and crying that I was scared and didn't want to cross the road again.
Well at any rate a kind Police officer saw us and stopped. After he got us safely in the back of his squad car (yes I have ridden in the back of a squad car), he got my phone number and called my mother. Now the way my mom tells this story the cop asked her if she knew where her son was. She obviously did not and so he told her that I was in the back of a squad car. My mom was upset. Very upset.
Anyway, the result of this is that I was grounded. For a year. Seriously. I had to wear a kitchen timer and report in to my mother. At first I couldn't even leave the room she was in and I had to report in every minute. Eventually it was every hour and I could go outside. But i still had that stupid kitchen timer. To this day I hate them with a passion.
Tough Love
Any parent will understand why my mother reacted the way she did. She loves me. She wants what is best for me. She doesn't want me to get hurt. But she also knew that I didn't know what was best for me all the time. When this happened she needed to teach me to make better discussions. Sometimes that meant making me wear a kitchen timer for a year.
The church is the same way. Sometimes the bride forgets who she is. Sometimes she thinks that she is just like the rest of the world. Sometimes she thinks that her interests are more important than caring about the sick and frail. Sometimes she thinks that she is better than everyone else and tries to show it. The bride is not always making herself ready.
It is at this time when we need to remind each other that we need to step up and live the way Jesus called us to. If you want an example of this read any letter of Paul. The ones to Corinth are particularly interesting, but any will do. You will find that even the early church need a kick in the butt every once in a while.
Look I am not saying that you should go around pointing out every flaw of every church member that you see. But what I am saying is that we often don't speak up when we should. This is not love. This is avoidance. Sometimes we choose to leave a church rather than deal with issues. This is also not love. This is also avoidance. Sometimes we choose to share our hate filled words with the world and not with the bride. This is not love, this is arrogance and malice.
Loving the church is not an easy thing. It is full of people who sin. It is full of people who will hurt us. But we are still called to love the church. We are called to have grace and patience like Jesus has with us. And we are called to awaken the church when she has forgotten how to make herself ready.
May you learn to love the bride. May you remember that love means being involved. May you remember that love also means accountability. May the church awaken to it's purpose here on this earth. And may the bridegroom be proud of His bride when He returns.
Amen!
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